Dude

stop flirting with me

are you seriously for real?

You already have a girlfriend

so shut the fuck up

and deal with that shit

before you start hitting on me

can’t you see that it’s wrong?

You’re totally taken

not free

to make this much eye contact

or look at my breasts

so longingly and lustfully

while laughing at my jests

which, of course, are incredibly witty

oh, and you’re touching my arm now?

Stroking my leg and my ego

you’ll explain this to your woman how?

Exactly

yeah

that’s what I thought

I’m just some fun for the night

hold me close all you like

I’m not leaving without a fight

I’ll show you what you’re missing

what a real woman should be

at the end of the evening you’ll think:

“My girlfriend? Who’s she?!”

But no matter how delicious or delectable I am

this game that we’re playing

yeah

I know it’s a sham

and that you’ll go home to your girl

(who I bet is as dull as shit

compared to me –

though I’m sure she’s fit)

I hope you know what you’re missing

now that I’ve been in your world

and you think of me inappropriately

when in your girlfriend’s arms you’re curled