it just had to be you
but why was it with you
that I cried my first tears in months?
This fucked up thing that we have
whatever it is
God, what is it?
Why do you challenge me,
yet can’t challenge yourself?
Why do you call me on things
that no one else will?
Do you have special Kate x-ray specs
that make me transparent to you?
Why do I feel so safe in your arms
when you’re actually
the most dangerous safe-zone a girl could have?
You’re my substandard substitute, for goodness’ sake
and yet I’m intoxicated by you
when you hold me
I can still smell you the next day
I don’t know whether to inhale deeply
or wretch and purge myself
of the shame inside
You think you know me better than I know myself
and what if you do?
What if you’re right?
Where does that leave me?
Naked in your bed, as always
What is this power you have over me?
why on earth am I not strong enough
to let go?
can I say it out loud?
Because the loneliness is too much
to bear alone
and two lonely, naked souls
in this mess that is us
why did it have to be you
who saw me cry?